You find a journal lying on the sofa...

may 14, 2024+

I woke up with a renewed will to live, as I always do.

"I start the day lying and end with the truth"

What I really enjoy about my time being at home is that I get to start my day slow, make my coffee, and sit outside on the deck with my notebook and without my phone (that or it's on do not disturb). This moment to myself has been incredible precious, whether I am reciting the countries of the world, writing an incredibly unecessary to-do list, or writing my plans for the week.

Today in particular, I wrote a to-do list, what i'm grateful for (even if i didn't really believe it, part of me felt like I was just writing what I thought that people think I should be grateful for), and a little manifestation letter to myself, that everything will work out the way I want it too. I could see it so clearly, where I would be in the future. In the warm, wood clad home- a high ceiling and natural light. I feel it, and I hope that one day I get to live it. I reminded myself that I would work hard to get to where I wanted, because it's always been that way.

I spent the rest of the day trying to work hard on Gingko for my meeting tomorrow. I think to myself that maybe I was meant to be a part of something more meaningful- it's what i've always wanted anyways. And that this lull in life i'm currently experiencing was made for me (uniquely and especially for me). It was purposefully laid out in front of me and will eventually lead me towards the life that I always dreamed of.

may 12, 2024+

With every day that passes, my energy and optimism fades.

I wonder if I will survive this life.

may 8, 2024+

Went to yoga at 5, felt strong and was able to go from figure four to eka pada galavasana for the first time! Securing my arm with the hook of my foot, lifting from the core and keeping my gaze in front of me were all crucial! Although I could go up with my left shin on arm, I couldn't do the other side-I fell trying.

I picked up my new tote bag! It's a spacious canvas tote from Uniqlo and I can't wait to start using it.. maybe this weekend for the bridal event I helped planned. I hope everything goes as planned, it's been a lot of money and work.

may 6, 2024+

A pretty uneventful day. Woke up, worked on this little site until about 4:30 then left for yoga. !! VERY !! DIFFICULT !! CLASS... I could barely keep up (most people couldn't either). My friend helped me fix my code on a new section i'm working for- i'm excited about it.

My brother gave me a copy of aesprite and I started playing around. I'd like to eventually replace all the icons on here to be self-made. Getting the hang of working in pixels is hard though! And developing a style is another story.

may 5, 2024+

My cat woke me up again today, I got out of bed to feed him at 5am. I slept a little longer until 8am to get ready for my 9am yoga class. I'm feeling stronger as I get back into my routine. Surprisingly, I've been able to go up in to tripod headstand surely but slowly.

I came home, took a long shower, and made myself a burrito. My mom introduced me to laos hot sauce recently and i've been eating it with a lot of my meals. Admitedly it is quite spicy... and gives me a tummy ache sometimes... but so addicting!

I'm really please with the progress i've made on the site! Figuring out the story I wanted to tell and how it could look like felt monumental.

may 4, 2024+

Woke up hearing my cat meowing around 5am... woke up again at 8 to drive my mom to work. Came home, got ready again and left for yoga. This class always feels difficult mentally to commit to, but the feeling of finishing the class is unmatched. I've never sweat so much in my life. What a fantastic callenge! It was also Star Wars themed :P.

If yoga wasn't enough, my brother invited me for a run. We both did about 3.25 miles, he ran all of it and I ran half of it. My legs are jelly. I spend the rest of the night trying to learn new code to implement and thinking more about what I want the structure of my site to be.

It took me a couple of hours to set this tab style page up. I'm so proud and happy with how it looks! It was my first time incorporating javascript too. I think i'm going to start over and be more mindful of all the pages I want to incorporate, things are getting a bit messy in my files because of my lack of planning.

may 3, 2024+

I signed up for neocities and started refamiliarizing myself with html and css again... for the first time in my life this stuff is actually making sense to me and I understand the logic behind the basics better than I ever have. I really do feel like my brain ridges have finished forming these days hah

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